The Chair
Old Mrs Husband wonders where
She can buy an electric chair. Does she need help with rising, sitting? Somewhere comfy to do her knitting? Or does she need a seat on wheels To whizz through Markses for bargain meals? Old Mrs Husband laughs and answers, ‘I can swing with the Strictly dancers. I can outpace the smartest feet From top to bottom of Mostyn Street, And lunch is at an hotel - my chief Indulgence, fillet of rare black beef.’ Old Mrs Husband smiles and rises. ‘Life should be filled with nice surprises. I like to party and love Design. Friends are coming for cheese and wine; I want to hear a delighted shout As chairs light up when the lights go out!’ Old Mrs Husband winks and adds ‘What would really excite the lads Would be a proper electric chair To strap them in for a trendy dare. But all the Gruesome Gerties had gone When I went looking on Amazon!’ Old Mrs Husband’s evening Do’s Are in the papers and on the News. Her centrepiece is a heated couch, A fit masseur in a posing pouch - And oldies queueing from everywhere For treatment in her electric chair! (... Old Mrs Husband is still on-line Implementing a dark design; She keeps in touch with a Texas jail Hoping they’ll have a chair for sale. She has the cellar with mains supply, And her life-long list of who must die ...) |